Training Children to Please

By Kim Doebler

Have you ever heard someone say, “My children love to please me.”

The first time I heard someone say that I was confused. What did that look like? Not growing up in a Christian home, I could not imagine this concept; yet, a few months ago I was trying to make this very point to my children:

We need to obey because it is right, not just because it feels good.

As part of my point I asked, “Would you obey me just because I wanted you to?”

To my surprise they said, “Yes.”

I adjusted my question, “Would you have always obeyed me just because I wanted you to?”

Very quickly they answered, “No.”

What had caused the change?

Believe it or not, it was character training! The years of correcting and guiding had done their work and our children wanted to please us.

They have thanked us for giving them well laid out boundaries and enforcing them. I believe clear expectations brought them security. If you still can’t imagine your children thanking you for training them, take it from my sixteen year old daughter. She recently blogged to moms saying, “My thought is: … be faithful and constant in your training and they will thank you when they are older.”

Tip: Spend more time on teaching them what to do rather than telling them what not to do.

We did a lot of role playing as our children were growing up. Sometimes we ran through upcoming situations and sometimes we replayed situations that didn’t go so well the first time. This has laid the ground work for being able to openly talk through situations now that they are older.

Jesus came down from heaven to please His Father. “The One who sent Me is with Me; He has not left Me alone, for I always do what pleases Him.” ( John 8: 29)

How much easier for our children to transfer over their desire to please their Heavenly Father, if they have learned to please the earthly father?

Keep on training, guiding, showing, and correcting, while praying for your children’s hearts to desire to please you!