Gratitude Will Change Your Husband
By Contributing Writer, Kelly Crawford
Most men are not really complicated–we are. But I know I take my husband’s uncomplicated nature for granted. And too often, I default to trying to improve him in one area or another, instead of seeing and building his enormous strengths in so many other places. (Why do we major on the minors, anyway?)
The most ambitious of us know that gratitude can make or break a marriage. And still, we falter in the daily grind of it all, forgetting to expend the energy in our most important human relationship. Too often we point out his faults and look right over his strengths–the ultimate ingratitude.
Have you ever taken the time to write down all that your husband does and then think about how much you have expressed gratitude for those things? I’ve done this, and it is painful. Often, gratitude can be as simple as a smile instead of a dissatisfied look. It may be remembering the simplest courtesy…”thank you,” when he repairs something.
I know one thing to be true: if you wish your husband would “do more,” start giving him sincere thanks for what he does. Give him sincere admiration for who he is, and he will strive to become more of who you want him to be. Men especially respond to gratitude.
This Thanksgiving season is the perfect time to express gratitude to our husbands. It’s an easy thing for us to do, but it can make such a difference in the harmony of our home.
Things to remember to thank your husband for:
- Filling up the car with gas
- Not pointing out all your faults
- Working every day without complaining
- Yard work
- Taking care of the trash, the toilet, the oil in the car, and all the other yucky things
- Particular character traits (is he calm, strong, loyal, playful…)
And one last thought:
I think many women (including myself) have been guilty of chiding husbands for their lack of spiritual leadership. Maybe they are first generation Christians and struggle from their own lack of example, or maybe it’s just difficult for them to lead. But the Lord is showing me how hypocritical I’ve been.
How many times do we (self-righteously) suggest our husbands aren’t doing A or B (usually some formal type of discipleship) when all the while he is leading and teaching by his quiet example and his faithful, daily walk, while I am the one overstepping my boundaries and being a sinful, contentious wife? So if you wish your husband would be a stronger leader, may I suggest thanking him for his “spiritual leadership in his daily walk?”
Praise God for His mercy and grace as we strive to make our marriages a picture of Christ and His Bride.
Tags: Blessing Husbands, gratitude, help meet
How many times do we (self-righteously) suggest our husbands aren’t doing A or B (usually some formal type of discipleship) when all the while he is leading and teaching by his quiet example and his faithful, daily walk, while I am the one overstepping my boundaries and being a sinful, contentious wife?
WOW!!! Right on the head. Thank you.
Thanks so much for these truths. The post compels me to write my own list of thanks for my husband. I believe thanks is like a muscle — it grows by exercise.
I have learned that you get more of whatever you point out. If you point out the positive, it will multiply. If you point out the negative… same thing. Makes me a lot more careful when I think of every word I say as a seed I sow that will bear good or bad fruit. Still practicing. What a good reminder!
You will enjoy “What Women Never Hear” [http://wwnh.wordpress.com], written by an older gentleman trying to explain men to us (younger) women. He has posts such as “An Attitude of Gratitude”.
Some of the posts are directed towards one segment of the female population, such as to unmarried women, to newly married women, to divorced women, etc., so not all of his posts are directly applicable to all women, but most if not all of them have nuggets of truth that all women should hear — truth which women typically do not hear, because it is drowned out or actively squelched by our anti-Christian, feminist society.
I just checked out your link…it looks hilarious (and helpful!) Thanks for sharing it!
Wow! I never even thought about my husband being a first generation christian.Thank you for encouraging me to encourage and thank him.Very timely.