Join me over at Keeper of the Home today where I write about three necessary attitude adjustments to make during pregnancy.

The post Adjusting Your Attitude During Pregnancy appeared first on Visionary Womanhood.

 By Contributing Writer, Marci Ferrell

Several months ago I shared my abortion story on my blog.  The Lord prepared the hearts of my children to hear this painful and ugly part of my past and brought me into a ministry of crying out for the lives of the unborn in my neighborhood.

I want to share with you today what happens outside the doors of your local abortion mills (“The term “clinic” defines a place of health care. More truthfully, however, the term “mill” defines a business that dispenses service in an impersonal or mechanical manner, as in a factory.”  ~Sidewalks4Life).

If you are like I was, this is a location that you haven’t spent much time around, and perhaps you have no idea what it is like outside the doors of your local killing place.

Difficulties & Realities

In all honesty I had a quick awakening as to what happens outside of an abortion mill.  I envisioned distressed women just looking for help with open hearts to hear the gospel.  Reality hit the first day as I discovered the majority (not all) of these women know they are going in to take the life of their unborn child and they don’t care.

Their top reason for not allowing their child to live is that their baby is an inconvenience. These are not women with softened hearts, but rather hardened hearts—not receptive to your presence. These women are not victims.  

The importance of prayer before, during, and after the time of ministry cannot be understated.  It is a spiritual battle, and those involved will be yelled at, cussed at and discouraged.  We meditate on “A soft answer turns away wrath” frequently as we are reminded that God saves the babies—not our eloquence or pleading.  We are instruments in His hands.

We are called to minister to the “least of these” and to “love our neighbor as we love ourselves.”  These unborn babies are our neighbors, and they have no voice.  There are professing Christian woman going in to murder their babies.  Mothers abuse the Word of God and reply with statements like “Don’t judge me,” “God forgives,” God’s love is unconditional.”

A favorite quote from Paul Washer comes to mind when we hear statements like this:

“Twist not Scripture, lest ye be like Satan”

At times, we only have seconds to talk to the women heading into the clinic.  Replying with Scripture when you can is best, for we know God’s Word does not return void.  Reminding them that the Word of God has judged them already, it tells us “Thou Shalt Not Murder.”  The hope is they will take a moment to talk with you so you are able to share the gospel with them and plead for their soul and for the life of their unborn child.

It is a battle, and standing outside of an abortion mill puts you on the front line.  

It is easy to get complacent sitting at home hearing about the war but not having a full understanding of what is really taking place. Once your eyes have been opened to the reality of the ugliness of what is happening on the front line it is impossible to not want to stay and fight.  It truly is a matter of life and death.

I didn’t realize there were employees or volunteers who stand outside and escort the women into the mill to have the abortion. They are called “escorts” but we prefer the nickname “deathscorts.”  Their purpose is to not let the sidewalk counselors come near the women to speak to them or hand them a ministry packet.

Let me state that we are not harassing these women but are truly speaking in love with compassion and humility.  We are to speak the truth of God’s Word and let the Word speak to their conscience.

Another area of surprise for me was the lack of Bible believing Christians at the mills.  We have two abortion mills where I live and hundreds of churches.  I assumed the sidewalks would be packed with believers, but that is not the case. There are many times when there is no Christian presence outside the abortion mills.

Many people will help and send money and supplies to our local crisis pregnancy centers, and this is good and needed, but these women at the abortion mills have already set their minds on murdering their babies, and they are not heading to the crisis pregnancy center unless the Lord intervenes on their way into the abortion mill.

Our hope is they will choose life, and we can drive them to the crisis pregnancy center sharing the good news of Jesus Christ on the way over.

What About the Graphic Signs?

My friend Lisa has a great response to this question.  I encourage you to read her post on family ministry.

“I want to share my thoughts on it, as a sidewalk counselor who has seen thousands of women choose Life at these abortion mills.

For starters…I cannot even begin to count the number of babies’ lives that I have seen saved right at the last minute…outside of abortion centers…because of these signs.

Just one story that I often share is when a mama chose LIFE at the abortion mill after coming directly from seeing her 12 week old child moving around on ultrasound at the local crisis pregnancy center. She left the pregnancy center planning to drive to the abortion mill to murder her unborn child. As she drove into the parking lot of this business of death, she saw a photo of “Malachi” (an aborted baby) and asked a sidewalk counselor if *that* is what happens to babies who are aborted. The counselor shared the necessary info and she said, “Well, then there is no way I am doing that to my baby!” And she chose LIFE!

There is a great disconnect at these places between what IS and what WILL BE if they decide to abort. That is why we see these signs as being so effective!

See, women are rarely told the truth about abortion. Without the truth, Satan is free to rob, kill, and destroy. It is urgent for these women to know the truth about this hidden evil done in secret. We must lay bare the demonic lie that an unborn baby is not a human life. When we shine the light of truth about this “legal” procedure, it wakes up the sleeper and moves them to action.

Truth can be horrific, just as the photos of the Jewish Holocaust, KKK hangings and other genocidal pictures have been shown to the masses to cause them to recoil in horror so that society will not commit those crimes again. Evil needs to be seen to prevent re-occurrence. These images of abortion will forever change the way people look at abortion, and as stated above, save MANY lives in the process.

If you’ve never been to an abortion center, check out Sidewalks 4 Life to see how to begin!”

Where to Start?

The best way to start ministering at your local killing place is to just go.  Go down and watch and learn from the Christians that are already there ministering.  Observe, pray, and don’t worry about what to say or not say.  As you spend time in prayer and have opportunity to speak to the mothers and fathers heading into the killing place the Holy Spirit will give you the words you need.

If you are comfortable, take your children with you to minister.  Seeing a family ministering together is an impacting visual for an aborting mother.  Again, I encourage you to read Lisa’s post on Families Ministering Together here.  Spend some time on the Sidewalks 4 Life website and Facebook page.

There is so much more than what I have shared here today but my hope was to give a little insight into what happens on the sidewalks outside an abortion mill.  Please feel free to contact me at my blog or message me on my Facebook page directly for more information or with any questions.

Open your mouth for the mute,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
Open your mouth, judge righteously,
defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Proverbs 31:8-9

If we were made to watch a doctor pull off the little baby’s legs and arms one by one and place them on the table like a dentist removing cotton from your mouth – if all Americans were made to see what it really is, the pro-life goal of abortion being unthinkable (not just illegal) would be much nearer.

John Piper

The post Sidewalk Counseling: Crying Out for the Lives of the Unborn appeared first on Visionary Womanhood.

By Contributing Writer, Molly Evert

Our secular history books have falsely taught us that the Puritans were dour faced, uptight, prudish people.  Far from “uptight,” our Puritan forefathers actually preached with candor on topics most present day ministers would blanch at.

Puritan pastor William Gouge, writing in the 1600s, included 7 pages about breastfeeding in his treatise on Domestical Duties (this topic starts on page 79). 

Gouge on Breastfeeding

Of giving suck to children

Among other needful things, the milk of the breast is fit for young babes, and with it they are to be nourished. I think none doubt of the equity of this. It hath in all ages, and in all countries, been accounted the best food that can be for young babes.

The metaphor which Peter uses… [As new-born babes desire the sincere milk of the word (1 Peter 2:2)] confirms as much.

So doth also the desire which such infants have to the milk of the breasts: and the ability, and promptness which is in them to suck: and God’s providence in causing a woman’s breasts to yield forth such milk: and the constant manner of nourishing little infants after this manner, commended in the Scripture: and [to conclude]the natural instinct which many unreasonable creatures have thus to nourish their young ones.

Gouge concludes this section by noting that those who attempt alternative feeding methods “where no urgent necessity requires” it are rejecting “that means which God hath ordained as the best: and so oppose their shallow wit to His unsearchable wisdom.”

Gouge taught breast feeding is a blessing, according to the following proofs:

1. In the blessing given to Joseph thus spoke old Jacob, God shall bless thee with the blessing of the breasts, and of the womb (Gen 49:25). By the blessing of the womb, what can be meant, but children? By the blessing of the breasts, what, but milk, whereby those children are nourished?

2. It is denounced as a curse, that women shall have a barren womb and dry breasts (Hosea 9:14). If it be a curse for women to have dry breasts, then may not women wittingly make them dry: which all mothers do, that give not suck to their children.

3. Manoah’s wife being promised to bear a son, had this charge given her: Drink no wine, nor strong drink, as those things were especially hurtful for her milk. It is therefore implied thereby, that she should so order her diet, as she might well nurse her child, and have good milk for him.

4. God by his good providence brought it to pass, that the mother of Moses (Exo 2:7) [though she were forced to cast out her child] should nurse her own child. Yea the mother herself was desirous to do it, and therefore appointed her daughter to watch who should take it up. These two circumstances imply that it appertains to a mother to nurse her children.

5. The Apostle lays this down as a note of a good woman, who in her place hath been careful to do her duty, and thereupon fit to do service in God’s Church [If she have nourished her children, or word for word, If she have fed her children] (1 Tim 5:10). Now the proper food for young babes is breast milk, which, by the Apostle’s rule, the mother must give.

6. The same Apostle commands mothers to love their children (Titus 2:4). How can a mother better express her love to her young babe, than by letting it suck of her own breasts? As this is a testimony of love, so it is a means of preferring and increasing love.

Gouge says the sum of this teaching shows “the duty in question to be very strongly enforced thereby”:

1. As a blessing it is promised, that mothers shall give suck to the children that they bear.

2. As a curse it is threatened, that women shall not be able to give suck.

3. An Angel gave direction to a mother so to carry herself as she might have store of good milk for the child which she should bear.

4. God by his special providence manifested that the proper mother was the best nurse for a child.

5. It is the note of a good woman to perform this part of her particular calling, namely to nurse her own child.

6. Women ought to do all the best duties of love that they can to their children.

Therefore mothers ought to nurse their own children.

Gouge doesn’t touch on situations where a woman–or child–might be physically unable to nurse.  Our family is pursuing the adoption of a one year old baby who was born with cleft lip and palate; nursing her would have been incredibly challenging even if I had given birth to her, but with her at one year of age—and me, an adoptive mother—it will be nigh on impossible.  There are situations in which breast may not be best.

On the other hand, I found it almost impossible to nurse my last baby, due to medical complications after her birth.  I spent the first month of her life working nearly round the clock on nursing, supplementing, and pumping in order to be able to breastfeed.

It was tough, especially with four other children to care for.  It was hard to stay committed to pumping in the wee hours after weeks of very little sleep.  There were many times I wanted to give up, and I had to cry out to God for help again and again.

I praise God that He gave me the strength to persevere and eventually I was able to nurse her easily, just as I had my other children.  It was a hard won blessing, and I appreciated it even more because of all it had cost.

Many in our day counsel young mothers not to bother with it, but our Puritan forebears offered us inspiration and encouragement in this womanly task.  I join my voice with theirs in counseling young mothers to take advantage of all the resources we have today to aid in breastfeeding if they find themselves struggling.

When my  milk wouldn’t come in, I made use of herbal remedies, a rented hospital-grade pump, and my local lactation consultants who met with me frequently throughout that ordeal.  Eventually I had to resort to prescription medication to get my milk to come in; before that, I didn’t even know such things existed!

Breastfeeding can be challenging, but I would encourage every new mother to give it her best shot.  The opportunity to breastfeed your baby is something truly worth fighting for.

The post The Puritans on Breastfeeding appeared first on Visionary Womanhood.

By Natalie, Editress of Visionary Womanhood

We are just a few short weeks away from launching a unique book that is written to educate, inspire, and encourage women in their fertile years. The book is called Three Decades of Fertility: Ten Women Surrender to the Creator and Embrace Life.

With 10 heart-warming, real-life stories and two bonus chapters on optimum health during the fertile years, this book casts a vision for raising children and offers the kind of mentoring younger women are thirsting for. If you’d like a teensy little sneak peek, you can read Kelly Crawford of Generation Cedar’s foreword to the book HERE.

This book will be sold in paperback, Kindle, Nook, and PDF formats.

(If you are viewing this in an email and can’t see the video, you may need to click through to the blog to see it.

Would you like to be part of this exciting book launch?

I’m collecting information from anyone who might be interested in either reviewing the book on their blog or website and/or becoming an affiliate.

Women who are selected to review the book will receive a free, unformatted electronic PDF file of the book to read before the launch week. After the book has been officially formatted (and looking pretty!), those reviewers will get the updated file free.

Affiliates will have the opportunity to put ad buttons on their blogs and earn 25% of any sales made from their website.

If you are interested in either of these opportunities, I am collecting contact information so that I can give you the appropriate links when the time comes. Please fill out the form below. (Please note: you’ll need to use the scroll button on the side of the form to fill out the entire thing!)

In addition, if you know of others who may be interested in this opportunity, please share a link to this article with them. I’d also appreciate it if you’d share this with your contacts on Facebook and Twitter.  (Share the book trailer above!)

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your help!

The post Peek at New Book Trailer (Looking for Reviewers and Affiliates for Three Decades of Fertility) appeared first on Visionary Womanhood.

By Contributing Writer, Tyanne

Baby-Led Weaning Introduction

Nourishing our children is a task I can safely say mothers do not take lightly.  I have memories of my own mother looking at me in horror as I left for school without eating breakfast—as if I had ripped out her heart and stomped on it.  To this day I hear worry in her voice when she learns I have skipped or missed a meal for any reason.

Since becoming a mother myself, I am surprised by the strength of my own instinct when it comes to caring for my child’s nutrition.  I have experienced intense anxiety at times when I was unsure if he was getting enough to eat, and I have experienced great pleasure in moments when I see him gladly consuming nutrient-rich foods.  On any day, whether I am hungry or content, I will gladly give up my portion to feed my child.

These strong emotions, I believe, are part of the beautiful way God has wired mothers to nurture and provide for their children.  It’s as though we yearn to meet their needs.  We feel compelled to nourish their little bodies, and we know they depend on us to do so. 

The Debates on Baby Nutrition

When I consider the depths of my own mental and emotional investment in the basic nutrition of my children, I better understand the temptation mothers have to passionately enter into the many debates on what, when, where, and how a baby should eat during their first year of life.  We love our children, we want what is best for them, and we cringe at the thought of another mother judging our nutritional decisions as less than adequate.

I would guess many of you have experienced these debates for yourselves:

• Breastfeeding vs. Formula
• On-demand vs. Scheduled
• To supplement or not to supplement?
• Grains vs. Absolutely NO Grains
• Solids at 4 months? Or 6 months? Or whenever?
• Organic vs. Non-organic

The list goes on and becomes frighteningly more detailed in the fight for which mothers are doing it all the right way.  (“Oh, no, don’t tell me you are using THAT brand of bottle!?” or even “Haven’t you heard it’s a really bad idea to introduce peas before broccoli!”)

Some of us have entered into and stepped away from these debates feeling beaten down and disqualified for motherhood, while others continue to wave their flags of mommy righteousness onward to convince the world they have it all figured out.

As a new mom I found the availability of options and information in these debates to be extremely overwhelming.  The internet has made it possible to simultaneously convince yourself that you are a super-hero mom and an absolute embarrassment to the calling in a matter of two Google searches. 

I think I spent months wondering if my breast milk was poisoning my child or giving him the perfect blend of nutrients on earth and making him into a genius muscle man. (I am only half-way kidding.)

Today I am going to add to the overwhelming amount of baby-care information on the internet by explaining the baby-led weaning method of solid food introduction.  My hope, however, is not to overwhelm you with yet another option or invite you to yet another debate on baby nutrition.

Instead, I hope to encourage those of you who might be struggling with the more traditional method of purees and spoon-feeding and enlighten any of you who have never heard of this less-traditional approach.

Our Path to Baby-Led Weaning

By the time I had inched and clawed my way through 6 months of breastfeeding on-demand, wondering every day if my choices were negatively affecting his sleeping habits or his digestive issues, I was ready to stop feeling clinically insane anxious about baby care.  I was ready to set aside the words of well-meaning friends who had given me long talks on how I must do this or that.  I was ready to research information on the decisions I was making without taking the extreme sides of an issue to heart.

I was ready to get over my quest to do it the right way—and feel confident that God would lead and equip me to nourish my child adequately regardless of how other mothers chose to do so.

This declaration of independence in my mind came just in time to begin introducing my first baby to foods beyond breast milk.  I was able to read through the material provided by our pediatrician, talk with family and friends, and search for information online without pulling my hair out at the thought of doing it wrong.

I began experimenting with a few pureed vegetables around the time my son was seven months old, but I did not develop a clear plan or follow a set schedule.  I was put at ease by the phrase our pediatrician had repeated to me several times: It’s food for fun until one.  In his opinion, babies continue to get their nutritional needs met by breast milk or formula at least until age one, so introducing solid foods could be treated only as a practice time until then.

Though my 7-month-old baby was interested in the food at first, he never seemed to enjoy it beyond a few bites, and he never ate a full serving size of any food.  I was not worried about his nutritional needs, yet I hated the feeling that I was wasting both food and money as we attempted to practice eating each day.  After a few weeks of these attempts, I stumbled upon the phrase “baby-led weaning” online. 

I had never heard this phrase before, and it was not the way my friends were feeding their babies.  Still, the more I read, the more I grew convinced that this method was a good fit for my child and my own preferences.  I then said goodbye to pureed foods, put away my blender and ice-cube trays, and stopped shopping for separate foods for my child. 

What is Baby-Led Weaning?

Baby-led weaning, also referred to as “baby-led solids,” is a method of solid food introduction by which infants are offered a variety of solid foods and given the opportunity to self-feed at their own pace.   

Instead of the traditional spoon-feeding method, parents using this approach simply allow their baby to explore a plate of finger food at meal and snack times.  The child naturally progresses from experiencing a variety of tastes, textures, and colors through sucking or licking to eventually chewing and swallowing foods as they are ready.  Babies are allowed to eat as much or as little of a particular food as they desire—or even reject a food entirely.

While the term “weaning” is often thought of as the time when a baby is no longer offered breast milk or formula as their primary source of nutrition, in this case it is referring to the introduction of additional foods to a baby’s diet that will gradually lead to the child consuming less milk or formula.  Regardless of what method is used to introduce solid foods and how long you intend to bottle or breast feed, the beginning of food introduction is considered the beginning of the weaning process.

How Did Baby-Led Weaning Look in Our Home?

Although I became more mindful of the kinds of foods I was planning into our family meals, choosing to use the baby-led weaning approach had very little effect on my grocery shopping and daily food preparation.  I planned our normal meals, cooked them as I normally do, and prepared a plate for my son with smaller portions.  Sometimes I would steam vegetables a little longer to make them softer, but often times the only difference between his plate and ours was in the bite sized pieces I gave him.

Early on, the bulk of his food options included:

• A wide variety of steamed vegetables such as carrots, peas, and broccoli
• Fruit, both fresh and canned
• Eggs — scrambled or hard-boiled
• Some ground meats or large pieces of tougher cuts of meat
• Whole beans — black, kidney, garbanzo, etc.
• Brown rice and whole grain pastas

Approximately six times each day I placed my son in his high chair and put food in front of him.  It was completely up to him whether or not he ate the food, but for the most part he would try everything and eat the most of whichever food he enjoyed.  As often as possible his meals took place simultaneously with ours—he ate the same food as we ate  and he did so at his own pace with his own hands.

But Doesn’t He choke?!

This is the most common question I was asked as others observed the foods we were feeding our son while most other babies were only eating purees.  In the beginning, he only had a few teeth and that would lead others to believe he was swallowing whole pieces of food.  The short answer is: No, he has never choked. 

Babies naturally learn to chew or even gum their food to break it down as they develop, and until they are able to do so they do not move the food to the back of their mouth to swallow.  When given food that is difficult to break down or too large to swallow, babies may suck on it or chew on it but then spit the rest out.  (This was consistently our experience.)   

Between 7 months and 1 year, the amount of food he was choosing to chew and swallow gradually increased, and he was enjoying a wide variety of foods and rejecting very few.  We continued to breast feed on demand during this time, and he maintained at least four nursing sessions per day until about 14 months when he gradually dropped feedings until he weaned completely at 16 months.  I chose to continue to nurse for as long as he desired, but this is not a necessary part of baby-led weaning. 

By age one, our son was eating many of his vegetables and fruits raw and whole: taking bites of hard carrots, eating safely to the core of an apple, and consuming orange slices while disposing of the peal independently.

Today my son is 27 months old and continues to self-feed while enjoying as much or as little of a food as he desires.  While this might sound as though meal times are undisciplined, one of the benefits we have experienced using this approach is that our child seems to know his own appetite well and nourish himself appropriately.  Most of the time he chooses to eat an appropriate amount of his food and we experience stress-free meals.

Some Possible Benefits of Baby-Led Weaning

Baby-led weaning proponents love to make sweeping claims that this method is a fool-proof way to raise a healthy-eating child who is NEVER picky about their food options.  I am hesitant to make a claim that this method is great for all babies or that the result is ALWAYS a child with an ideal appetite.

However, if these statements were able to be proven, our child could contribute to proving them true.  Our son sets an example in our house of someone who makes healthy eating choices every day—most often choosing fresh vegetables and fruits to make up the bulk of his daily calories.  It is not uncommon for him to request carrot sticks while the rest of us are eating pizza, and he consumes a large amount of nutritious foods with a smile on his face.

In terms of finickiness, we have never had a problem with him refusing to eat a particular food.  He loves it all!  The only exception has been at times when he can see a dessert on the counter that he just CAN NOT stop thinking about.

An additional benefit that I attribute to this method of food introduction is the natural progression that takes place as babies grow in their ability to taste and break down a variety of textures.  Because he has always eaten the foods that we eat regularly, we had no need to transition him from baby-specific food to our adult foods.  It just happened.

Finally, I know that our food budget benefited from this approach.  By no longer shopping for separate food for my child, I was able to focus our grocery needs on the family as a whole and stop spending money on special food options for only one person.

Proponents of this method also claim that allowing a child to eat according to their own appetite contributes to a life-long instinct to eat appropriate portions and therefore reduces their risk of obesity.  I have not come across any credible data to back up this claim however, so I will only say that it is possible that baby-led weaning will reduce a child’s risk of obesity.

Why Baby-Led Weaning Worked for Us

Stepping away from purees and giving my son opportunities to try regular foods at his own pace was one of the best decisions we made in his first year.  I say this not because I believe it is the right method for everyone, but because it was very clearly the right method for us.

Here are some specific reasons baby-led weaning was a good fit for us, and possibly a good fit for you, too:

• It was extremely easy and stress-free.
• Our baby had little interest in pureed food, but he was very enthusiastic about touching and tasting whole food.
• Spoon-feeding our child did not go well for us, but he thrived at opportunities to self-feed.
• We eat most of our meals at home so it was easy to readily provide whole foods that were cooked to the desired consistency.
• We utilized baby sign language, which helped me to understand which foods he preferred, when he wanted more, and when he was truly done eating the food on his plate.
• Our pediatrician was supportive of our choice even though he had never heard of it.

Research Baby-Led Weaning for Yourself

If you can relate with any of the above reasons, it is with excitement that I encourage you to research the baby-led weaning method further and consider trying it for yourself.  There are a number of books on the market that describe the method further and explain the research and benefits behind it.  This might be where you prefer to start with your research, but I can not stress enough that this is not the ONLY/RIGHT way to go about introducing solids and many of these books can make it sound as though it is the smartest choice for ALL babies.

I gathered most of my information online when we began using this method.  I found this website/blog/forum especially helpful at that time.  Perhaps the best part of using this method, however, is that there is great freedom in following your own preferences and doing things in a way that works for your baby and your family.

Whether you are interested in using this approach or you intend to go about solid food completely differently, I think anyone can gain insight from an understanding of baby-led weaning.  For our family, it was extremely freeing to let go of our fears that our child was not allowed to try a particular food—and simply let him try things at his own pace.  For you, it might help relieve the pressure to get your baby to eat the perfect amount of the “right” purees.

With so many debates on which way is the right way to nourish our children, I believe the great success families have had using this method can help us all loosen up a little bit.  There are ways to do things that are not traditional, they are not what all your friends are doing, and they may even raise a few eye brows—BUT those ways might be exactly what works well for your baby! 

I love baby-led weaning.  It worked beautifully for us with our first child, and I will highly consider doing it again with future children.  My advice for all moms on this topic, however, is to know your baby (as all mommies do) and choose what method is most comfortable for everyone involved.

Do some research, don’t be intimidated by the “right way” other moms are doing baby-care, and enjoy this special time with your child.  Food IS fun and we can guide our babies to enjoy it in whichever way we choose!

The post Baby-Led Weaning: A Simple Approach to Solid Food Introduction appeared first on Visionary Womanhood.